Transparent Behaviour
Rajesh Bhola
Being in the field of caretaking for the specially
challenged persons, I spend some time
everyday listening and talking to them. None of
us can control our feelings and emotions; we
can only suppress or express them. To express
them is to be transparent, and that is what
makes humans unique. Suppression means trying to hide
certain energies - not allowing them to manifest.
Transparency in behaviour keeps us upright and free of
stress; we become like a mirror reflecting whatever is inside
us. No human society has been able to accept its members
as they are, and without creating certain 'rules' that those
members are expected to follow.
It is a joy to be with someone who is transparent. Our
hearts feel refreshed and open. We feel
like we are receiving an invitation to
genuine intimacy. The communication is
real. When we are transparent, others in
our presence find their hearts opening up
as well. When we practice transparency,
they feel more emotionally safe; they also
feel more loved because we are being
emotionally honest and real with them.
Transparency is an attitude of
responsibility for the good of others. They
will appreciate us more because they are
seeing the genuine, 'real you' - which is
always more lovable than the 'pretend,
disguised, or hiding you'.
Transparency plays a very vital role in building trust
between individuals. Transparent persons are authentic, and
deliver their brand of honesty with respect and concern for
others. They have no hidden agendas. Information is shared
openly yet appropriately. Such people demonstrate being
transparent by being congruent between their inner and
outer selves. They keep no pretense. We can fake genuine
consideration, but not for long; we cannot force an unnatural
or uncomfortable bond with others. Of course it is usually
not appropriate to divulge all information without
discernment.
Meaningful connections are built on mutual respect and
communication; share things about yourself to increase your
credibility in the relationship. It is good to responsibly share
true opinions and emotions. Never lie, but be responsible in
the manner in which you share with others. Explain your
reasoning for a decision, but not at the cost of someone's
dignity. You can strike a balance between being transparent
and excessively personal.
When you are transparent, the world will see the real you.
While not lying to others, take steps to ensure that you are not lying to yourself. Ask those whom you respect, and
prepare yourself to accept their feedback with an open and
gracious mind. While it takes courage to face criticism,
appreciate the bravery it takes for others to be frank with
you.
It is good to own up to mistakes. Everyone appreciates
someone who can admit a mistake. The act of owning up to
a wrong turn, or a bungled attempt, demonstrates humility
and a genuine desire to do the right thing. The more others
see you modeling this skill, the more likely they will return
the favor. It is true even at the workplace; a transparent
organization will attract the best and retain the best, while an
opaque organization will continually deal with high turnover
or a disgruntled workforce.
Many people often ask why they
should choose to be so transparent
about who they are and where they
have come from. It is not our choice to
be transparent; it is His choice for us to
be transparent. We choose what He
wants for us today, instead of what we
wish or want for ourselves.
Sacrifice of one's self is the ultimate
sacrifice; sacrificing the desires of
earthly life is what we owe to Him, who
has loved us enough to redeem us from
ourselves. It is believed to be our
responsibility to be spiritually
transparent, always tuned to opportunities to share His grace
and mercy with others. We often get obsessed with what
others expect of us or think of us. Our focus should be on our
internal transparency. Transparency teaches us to smile at
difficulties, at human imperfection and the human reality.
True religiosity is more profound - we must go to the depths
of our humanity.
By being transparent we also start getting closer to a
divine self-realization through the power of surrender. A
pure and transparent heart surrenders in the true sense.
When we invoke a higher intelligence or seek the blessings of
our elders and revered ones, we are always transparent. We
surrender to their higher intelligence and trust with absolute
clarity.
We accept the outer world for what it is, and take the
responsibilities of our inner world. While bowing before Him
in great deference, we become transparent to our soul.
Transparency towards self and others brings us ease, purity,
clarity of vision, self-realization and enlightenment. Our
transparency is a gift that reminds us of the grace that flows
when we surrender the outcomes of our relationships to a
higher authority.